Regina et Imperatrix (shy_dramaqueen) wrote,
Regina et Imperatrix

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Just writing

It's just another one of those sad updates.

In the latest news from home, my grandmother on my mother's side, my last living real grandparent (not counting my grandmother's second husband, though I do call him grandpa) is dying. My dad said it could be anything from an hour to months, but my mom gave less optimistic predictions. She's staying in the hospital until it's over.

It's a shock, because even if her health has declined lately, she has seemed somewhat invincible before. After being tested for everything about a year ago, the summary was "slightly high levels of iron". She has pretty much defied all grave warnings about what happens if you smoke and don't get enough exercise, among other unhealthy life choices. But now her body seems to be simply shutting down bit by bit. Her digestive system is entirely gone ("dead" was the word they used). It's still a mystery to me how a woman with diabetes can survive very long at all without nutrition. But she's stubborn like that. :)

So now half my brain is doing this sensible "circle of life" attitude... and the other is updating this LJ to keep me from crying myself to a migraine. I got to talk to her just now, but she's on the happy fun painkillers in addition to everything else, so I didn't catch much. The actual words weren't really that important anyway.

But I think it's worst for my mum. My grandfather (grandmother's first husband) died earlier this year. It took her a while to react to that, because of various issues, so I think she only came to terms with it very recently. And now this.

Two weeks until I'm going home. Going home earlier if there's a funeral before. Feels kind of taboo to even mention it while she's alive, but as she said herself, it's just going one way from here. She has son, daughters, sons- and daughter-in-law and some grandchildren around her. (She almost made it to great-grandmother, my cousin is about six months pregnant.)

If I go home early, it's for my mother more than anything else. Funerals are for the living, as they say. I just want to hug her a lot. :-|
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